Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Toy Story Dad…What's His Story?

This past weekend, my family and I went to see "Toy Story 3." Wow. What a great movie! The dialogue was clever and humorous. The characters and the plot were compelling and entertaining, and the movie has a wonderfully engaging blend of drama and comedy. My sense is that the Toy Story series has run its course. If so, the creators of the series ended on a very high note.

However, there was one aspect of the movie that left me a bit "animated." The plot builds around the fact that Andy, who is now 17, has lost interest in playing with Woody, Buzz and the gang. Accordingly, the urgent crisis for the toys is what would become of them now that Andy would soon be heading off to college.

At one point, there is a scan of Andy's desk and you see a picture from his recent high school graduation. There are three smiling faces: Andy, his sister and his mom. So, for me, the stuffed elephant in the living room was...Where is Andy's dad and what's his story?

Now, I know that this is just a movie, but, unfortunately, art can imitate life. With 24 million kids living in father-absent homes, Andy's family situation is too real and too common for too many children. Nonetheless, this was not an accident or an oversight. Somewhere during the creative process someone made the call to erase dad. Moreover, he was deleted and no reference was made to him. And, well, I am just not comfortable with this new normal.

Interestingly, there was a scene in the movie where I got a sense that Andy was not too comfortable with this either. Near the end of the film, Andy is holding Woody for what will probably be the last time and he says that Woody is his most special toy and that he has been with him for as long as he can remember. He added that Woody was always there for him and, best of all, Woody would never give up on him, no matter what.

Now, you can dismiss this like so much "psycho babble," but it seems to me that Andy, through his imagination and play, ascribed to Woody the attributes of an involved, responsible, and committed father. And, if you followed the Toy Story series, this is exactly how Woody behaved. He was always focused on being there for Andy regardless of the challenges and obstacles. Interestingly, the magic that made Woody a "real" toy was his commitment to Andy, just like what makes a man a real father is his commitment to his children.

In fact, if anyone ever questioned his priorities and purpose, Woody was quick to show them the word "ANDY" written on the sole of his shoe in permanent marker. What an amazing metaphor for what happens to a man when he becomes a dad. I have heard numerous times from fathers how something changed inside of them when they held their child for the first time. Well, I think that children are born with "magic" markers and when their dads hold them for the first time, they write their names on their dad’s souls to remind their fathers who they belong to.

I guess that's why I am a bit troubled by no reference or mention of Andy's dad. Because for all of the real “Andys” in the world, their history is linked to their destiny as men and as fathers. Accordingly, they have to come to grip with and make sense of their father's absence in a real way. And there is no erasing that.

See how National Fatherhood Initiative works with entertainment media projects to promote their fatherhood messages: www.fatherhood.org/entertainment

30 comments:

  1. I agree, the Toy Story franchise is a great set of movies for a lot of reasons, but Andy's fathers's absence was glaring to me as well. I suspect that there was, in fact, little or no discussion whatsoever in the creative process (ironic since these are the same people that created Finding Nemo, one of the best father movies of all time), and that the creators unconciously fell into this "new normal" which is anything but. What I take away is that no one is immune to the sometimes subtle-but-pervasive power of the messages we recieve in so many ways about men and fathers in our culture. But I still liked the movie a lot.

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  2. 1. I know what my next tattoo is & where it's going.

    2. As a guy working in the fatherhood field, dad's abscence struck me too. Roland, I like your take on Andy's comments to Woody.

    3. Pixar has done some great stuff around fathers both present and absent.
    Present: Finding Nemo, The Incredibles
    Absent: Up, Toy Story

    Have a great day!
    -Brian

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  3. Roland,

    I understand your concern about father absence being portrayed in film, but this is a fantasy film in which the human story line is more of a backdrop to the toys who represent the main characters. Perhaps Andy's father's story is that he died. To assume it is a way to make us accept a "new normal" is unfair, it is a story where the main characters have no parents, they are toys. That being said, I think there should be more films made emphasizing the great positive influence dads can have in the lives of their children.

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  4. This posting is why the NFI message is so powerful! I took my son to the movie the second weekend it was in theaters. I also noticed throughout the series, there was never mention of Andy's Father. In reading the gentlemans comment about where his next tattoo will be...I like his enthusiasm, but the greater point is the soul. As you indicated, by being that 24/7 Father and being there for our kids...the tatoo IS on on the SOUL. People can see that when they see us with our children...the souls of a child and an involved parent, independently, is evident in daily life.

    SDB - Three Wells

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  5. I was thinking about the fact that no father is mentioned past couple of days so this morning I did a google search on "Toy Story single mom". I was stunned by the results I found; none of which seemed "right" to me. It was as if America was so it's ok to have only one parent in the home. While I would agree it is normal, it doesn't have to be that way. While maybe not intentional, the artists were/are promoting single parent families. If America is ever to have complete families (one man and one woman) it needs to have examples of how it is done. I finally did a google search "Toy Story no dad" and came across this blog. I applaud you on your insight.

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  6. I don't think the directors are promoting single parenthood. In fact, the director has been quoted as saying "Who said Andy's father didn't die?"

    And if you think about it, this makes sense. Woody is an old toy--in Toy Story 2, he's almost shipped off to an antique toy museum or some sort. So it could follow that Woody was Andy's father's toy, and given that Andy's father has passed, this helps explain why Woody is such a very, very special toy.

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  7. I noticed this recently as well. If he had merely died then why are there not any pictures of dearly departed Dad? If Andy were a hand me down from Dad then how could he pass him onto the lil girl?

    Its not just Andy that doesn't have a father. Notice the lil girl in TS3 didn't have one present either.

    If I recall TS2 the evil kid that tortured toys only had a mom as well.

    Four main characters from TS1-TS3 didn't have fathers. Three turned out alright and one was very disturbed.

    The characters are:
    Andy
    evil kid(name?)
    Lonso's lil girl(name?)
    Bonnie

    None of them had dads. So the excuse from the makers that "oh Andy's dad died" doesn't account for all these children not having dads.

    Lonso to me epitomizes the angry father that has been loved by his child and then mom leaves him, taking his child away from him. Not only that but mom replaces dad(Lonso) with another Lonso(dad). He makes a disturbing commentary on their existence. We're plastic...there are millions like her...we're made to be thrown away.

    There were several loving relationships among the toys. Notable were Woody and Bo Beep, Buzz and cowgirl, the Potato head couple, and Ken & Barbie.

    Is Toy Story trilogy trying to make a social commentary on fatherless homes?

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    1. Bonnie has a dad - he's gardening with mom at the end...

      Lotsos girl had a dad... he carried her from the picnic.

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    2. Actually Lotso's little girl did have a dad, he carried her back to the car after she fell asleep at the rest stop. Sid's (evil kid) mother was never actually seen, just her voice was heard. However, there was a supposed father upstairs watching tv where buzz found out he was just a toy. I believe there was a make figure working in the garden at the end of toy story 3... Possible father. The fact is most of the time mothers are the primary caretaker, and they barely even got screen time. The parentals are just not the focus of these movies.

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  8. After viewing TS3 and promptly proclaiming it to be the best of the three, I again wondered what was the deal with Andy's dad. Obviously it seems to be a situation that has received a lot of notice by fans of the movies. Reading some other articles on the net in regards to this special animated family, I find that PIXAR is also strangely silent about Andy's dad. So if the source wont come clean, we have to speculate and assume, and we all know what assuming gets us. But here is what I think.

    Towards the end of TS3 we have a scene of Andy and Mom standing in his empty room, she places both her hands over her heart and tears well up in her eyes and it was here that I hoped we would hear the line "I wish your father was here to see you off to college". But we never did. We did see though that her left hand ring finger did not have a ring on it. PIXAR would not let a detail like this pass as Carl, the old man in UP still wears his wedding ring even though Ellie has died. It obvious that Andy's father is not away on a business trip, or in the military or out playing golf for the pass nine years. No, were left with only two conclusions, he has died or he is an absent parent.

    In TS1 we see the family getting ready to leave for a new home, we also see Andy's sister at about a year old, maybe sixteen months as she can stand on her own. Since Molly is still a baby we can assume, there that word again, that Andy's dad was there at least sixteen months prior to when TS1 opens. lets look at a few other things. In TS1 Mom is not wearing a wedding ring, and as already mentioned there moving. Many times when there is a death in the family the surviving family may wish to leave the house that the departed family member lived in. To build new memories and leave the old difficult ones behind. Also the house that they moved into was quite nice and there is never any mention that Mom has a job, even though later in TS3 we see a sticker on the back of her car when she is going to Sunnyside Day Care to donate the toys about yoga training, perhaps her business now. It can be assumed that a large insurance policy has paid off and that is how there able to afford such a nice home. Given the time frame that TS1-3 takes place in, we have to assume that Andy is not on the cusp of when Cowboys and Indians gave way to the space era. I myself being of that same era when the Apollo spacecraft and space missions superseded my cowboy phase. Its my belief that Woody was a toy that belonged to Andy's dad who could have been a child of the fifty's hence the cowboy era, and therefore had great meaning for Andy. Even when Buzz came along with all of his gadgets and gizmo's, Andy did not lose interest in Woody as another child may have. Given these clues to the family structure its my opinion that Andy's dad died and left a sizable income to his mother who never had to work again and was able to be a stay at home parent. Andy's link to his dad was through Woody who was always saying that there job was to "be there for Andy"

    In all case's it will depend on wither your a glass half full or half empty person. I choose to believe that a great company that gave us other wonderful dad's like Marlin of Finding Nemo and Robert Parr from the Incredibles would choose not to let us think that Andy has a dead beat dad, but one that provided for his family even after he left the planet.

    Tony

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  9. I think that Dan above does not have his facts correct. First of all he points out that Bonnie, who he calls the little girl, has no dad. This is not correct, because if you look closely as Andy's mom is dropping off the donated toys, Bonnie's mom opens the door for her by pressing the door lock button. If you look closely you can see she is wearing a wedding ring. Also in the final scenes of the movie when Andy is dropping off the toys to Bonnie's address, you see her mom and dad working in the yard while she is playing.

    Dan makes reference to the evil kid in TS2, this is not correct as well. The evil kid that tortures toys is Sid and he is in TS1. He also has a dad, albeit perhaps one that is extremely uninvolved with his kids. He shows up briefly in a scene watching TV as his dog Scud here something and leaves the dad side. Dan makes reference to Lotso, not Lonso's lil girl, if you notice that when they all stop to have lunch at a rest stop you see mom and dad in the background of the shot where she is playing with lotso.

    So of the four characters he mentions, only Andy is fatherless.

    As far as why would Andy hand down, and I believe Dan meant to say Woody, to the little girl, Bonnie, if Woody was a hand down toy from Dad. I think its safe to say that Andy saw in Bonnie, himself at that age, and Andy was able to finally let go of the security that Woody offered, a little like Linus and his blanket. Bonnie had already taken to Woody earlier in the movie and Andy recognized the bond that had taken place. IMHO.

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  10. Dan,

    It is Sid the mean kid in TS1 that you are referring to and he DOES have a dad. The only dad you see in all three movies. They show him sitting on a chair watching TV.

    Amanda

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    1. Bonnie in TS3 also has a dad. They show him gardening with Bonnie's mom at the end.

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  11. As one of those children abandoned by a wealthy father who hid to avoid sending more than $110 month child support, the story was perfectly normal. It wasn't until I was married with kids of my own did I ask where Dad was. Perhaps is better to feel alienated as an adult male watching a kids movie. Would you rather 50% of kids be alienated and reminded of that sadness? Half of all marriages end in divorce. Many of those Dads become ghosts rather than deal with the emotional and financial burdens.

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  12. Seriously .... who cares if the father is absent in toy story. Its not about Dad or Mum, its about the toys wanting to be with Andy. Really Nemo's mum was murdered and then he was lost. Who cares about the absence of family in a movie. The movie is AWESOME

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  13. I kind of noticed that when I saw the picture! Well I like it cause my son can relate to it. He father is currently not in his life (due to him being selfish and serving 3-5 years). My son is now 3 years and has not seen his father in since he was 9 month. My son can see the different roles. I think kids with single mothers need something identify with. You always see 2 parents in movies.

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  14. Even though there is no father in Andy's life, that doesn't mean its the new normal. This is pretty much the only Pixar film where there is no dad and quite frankly, I don't think the kids watching this movie series are going to pay attention to something that's not there. Some that watch them have lives like Andy and Molly. I think it's great that Pixar is trying to be diverse with different lifestyles. The world isn't the way it used to be. Not every house hold had a mom, dad, sister and brother. Some have 2 moms, or 2 dads and if this type of stuff cant be present in childrens lives or things they watch then that is ridiculous. It's nothing inappropriate. There can be single moms and that's just fine. It seems like this family is doing perfectly well with only the mom.

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  15. Having listened to many a film commentary by writers/directors, I think the creaters of the story would say that the reason Andy's father's absence is not addressed is that it's not important. The real point is not why he's not there, just that he isn't (for whatever reason) and that Woody sort of fills a little bit of that void in some sense. So whether you're a kid of divorced parents or one who has lost a parent, you can relate either way.

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  16. Very interesting discussion. Just want to point out that in many of the classic Disney princess films--the MOTHERS are absent. Even as recent as Little Mermaid. NO MOM. Cinderella? Snow White's story? Where's MOM? Beauty and the Beast..

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  17. I think Sid's father in TS1 was passed out in a chair with a beer in his hand. I don't understand why Pixar would show such contempt for father's in this movie? Are they suggesting a toy would show more love to a child than a father?

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  18. A complete family does not mean "one man and one woman" a complete family is one that loves every member and accepts them completely. This contrived notion of the male-female parented home has never truly existed and has varied throughout time on an extreme spectrum. Please accept that there are many types of families and that modeling those families in the media validates the children growing up in all homes and creates stronger adults in the future-so stop your hatin
    And thank you Karen for pointing out an exceptionally valid point

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  19. Dan.... all those kids did have dads. Sid's dad was sleeping in a chair at the tv. Bonnie's dad was doing hardworking with the mom at the end of ts3. And watch the scene where Lotso got lost. There's a mom and dad. Andy was the only one.

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  20. Here is what the creators were really thinking:
    http://movies.msn.com/mom-pop-culture/toy-story-3-single-mom/story/feature/

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  21. As a single mom whose son has a deadbeat dad I think it's very considerate of hollywood to make an exception and show a happy healthy family without a dad present. My son asks why don't I have a dad and it's in his face 24/7 on tv at school aost everywhere that the majority of kids have present fathers. This is refreshing and I thank the producers of toy story for showing that boys sometimes do not have dads and that they are just as normal and movie-worthy as the other kids. For any dads who take offense, pls let it go. There are kids out there, many many like my son, who have been abandoned. It does no one any harm to have a single mom without a husband. If it makes my son feel a little more accepted, then I think that's very thoughtful of toy story producers. Am writing fast because I have to get my son's dinner out of the oven or I would have worded better, but hopefully point taken.

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    1. Hi. I guess it is no offense at all. It is common (not normal) to have a sigle mom based familiy. Tho Andy leads a happy life, there is a sad note, say, in this melodic story. The father isn't around but he has a friend in Woody, whose main purpose is to make Andy happy, as a father would be supposed to.

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  22. Great topic. I love the three movies, but as a father I do believe there is a fathership, say, implicit side subject underlining the story. You guys have made interesting observations. I do confess I have not notice Sid's father... I'll pay more attention next time. However it is interesting that in TS2 Zurg claims to be Buzz's dad, in a Darth Vader fashioned. So he seems to be an absent father that has found redemption. On the other hand, did you notice that Al's life is quite the opposite of Andy's home? An middle-aged greedy business man who lives in apartment downtown, no wife, no kids. Even the toys he must have loved sometime in the past means only money.

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  23. maybe, because they wanted to save money on animation and voice actor expenses. mimislifelessons.blogspot.com

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  24. Roland, I have the same question about Andy's dad but also Sid's and Bonnie's. No dad in Toy Story!

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  25. I'm a single mother that's has yet to have to explain to my son why he doesn't have a dad...movie like this make it a little easier for me cause it is the sad truth how not every family is perfect...he can see how just having a mom is just as good as having the whole package...I would hare to have to see it always thrown in his face that everone has both their parents and he doesn't....I totally support Disney for making every movie different in that way
    Kathy

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  26. Why does the mom need to have received life insurance from a deceased husband to afford a nice house? Well apart from women earning only 77 cents to every dollar a man earns... I applaud the excellent fathers on this site but families come in all forms, and single moms and dads are very capable.

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