tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post3389853425799453997..comments2023-05-28T05:16:24.334-04:00Comments on The Father Factor: What the Penn State Scandal Tells Us: We Don’t Care About the Sexual Abuse of BoysRoland Warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03950298999478536463noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-51047222367584687022011-11-23T23:15:45.396-05:002011-11-23T23:15:45.396-05:00I agree with the author(s) that this incident reve...I agree with the author(s) that this incident reveals much about our society's view that boys are not deserving of protection. I missed this point in my own discussions on PSU. I found myself wondering why so much attention was focused on Paterno and the PSU Board (who I agree should be fired), and why there hasn't been as much discussion about why a 28 year old man, highly educated, could not figure out on his own that he should interrupt a rape. Who the heck needs to report this to higher authority?? I used to think that any reasonably capable man would automatically respond and intervene. Now I see that both a blue collar worker and an educated white collar academic are equally incapable of taking action to protect a 10 year old during an obvious and ugly crime. To me this is an indictment on our entire culture of masculinity, and that the norm of manhood is America is incapable of doing an obviously decent thing without getting permission from a person above them. <br />In my confusion and discouragement over this realization, I missed the point that it would have been different if the victim had been a young girl. Frankly, I am not convinced the grad student or janitor would have intervened then either. I do believe however that PSU would have not kept it quiet, that they would have instituted outreach and conferences and marches and workshops and programs. To be fair, this is somewhat because the men aren't demanding it. Where is the organization that we as men gather together where we demand the protection of children? I am going to answer my own question. We do it within the auspices of church organizations, and then the media and academia ignore us because we are labeled as intolerant.<br />In the meantime men continue to become incapable of carrying out their obligations as men, and boys continue to be vulnerable, and all males have it reinforced, again, that they are on their own.<br /><br />Anonymous 85Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-73511673514227439592011-11-22T09:15:10.746-05:002011-11-22T09:15:10.746-05:00Great post. Thank you. I was a victim of this kin...Great post. Thank you. I was a victim of this kind of abuse when I was 12 and felt utterly and completely alone when it happened. It has taken me half my life to come to grips with it and I didn't even get into therapy until I was in my early 30s. At the time, I just didn't think this sort of thing happened to boys. You never heard about it. As a result, my whole world imploded and I started using drugs and alcohol as a way to hide the abuse. I did finally get on the road to recovery and things are better today. Public awareness of this issue is key. Parents need to know that their sons are just as vulnerable to pedophiles as their daughters are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-68842506010339113282011-11-17T11:22:22.678-05:002011-11-17T11:22:22.678-05:00I find your blog both interesting and eye-opening:...I find your blog both interesting and eye-opening:<br /><br />It seems that people agree that 'girl abuse' would and usually does spawn a greater response. Do people feel that this is not acceptable? Do they know why this could be? Are people interested in recognizing that boys may suffer worse effects of abuse than girls-do people reflect on this in respect to the insufficient response to boy abuse cases or in terms of the implication that boys abuse should have a rather greater response?...<br /><br />How we respond to these questions points to an aspect of culture-the assumptions and beliefs on gender: Has the female sex or feminine gender been profiled as the 'vulnerable one' and the masculine gender or male sex profiled as the 'aggressor'? Is it time to question certain stereotypes? Isn't it? All questions for us to think about!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-81401914575936420742011-11-16T16:39:36.734-05:002011-11-16T16:39:36.734-05:00I agree with the statement that boys are expected ...I agree with the statement that boys are expected to fend for themselves. I was a recipient of this type of sexual behavior by an older man when I was between the ages of 11-12 years old but did not come out with it until I was 16 years old. I went to a government social worker/physcologist and the only advice that came from them is maybe I was attracted to men and should consider homosexuality as the result of this incident. Needless to say I was more confused and alone than I was before I spoke out. 25 years have passed and would like to believe our society is more in touch with the real issue. Unwelcomed advances with someone under aged is not permissive to the outcome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-29500260478180180922011-11-16T10:14:51.947-05:002011-11-16T10:14:51.947-05:00A quick note that there are Advocate Groups out th...A quick note that there are Advocate Groups out there specifically for male survivors: http://1in6.org/get-help/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-9055951987293352792011-11-16T09:22:07.837-05:002011-11-16T09:22:07.837-05:00Following up on my original post, I don't thin...Following up on my original post, I don't think I missed the point. I think boys do need to be much more protected. I think we should do everything in our power to protect them. The author said "boys seem to experience more severe and more complex" problems than girl survivors of abuse. This, to me, seems to indicate that one is more serious than the other. I think this is the wrong tone to strike. We certainly should do more for everyone. Advocacy groups should be everywhere. A good first step would be a larger percent of adult male survivors speaking up and helping to end the stigma of being a victim.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-14031745064224674012011-11-15T16:42:06.701-05:002011-11-15T16:42:06.701-05:00Anonymous (the 1st) missed the point, as to the au...Anonymous (the 1st) missed the point, as to the author's feelings that indeed neither has more severe consequences. Abuse of either boys or girls is horrific and both sexes should be protected equally for the consequences are equally terribly damaging to the childs' psyche. If his tone seemed derisive, I guess the truth hurts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-22078562420039032952011-11-15T16:39:11.262-05:002011-11-15T16:39:11.262-05:00Anonymous, I don't believe you should read der...Anonymous, I don't believe you should read derision into the tone of "girls, pit bulls, and trees do." Instead, and particularly when it comes to nonwhite boys, it is better to read it simply as a factual description of the state of our culture. An honest acceptance on all our parts of the accuracy of that description should then cause us to work to close the gap. And in closing help make the world safer for boys, girls, pit bulls, trees, dolphins, women, men...etc.jsmithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10935099702903608012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-78518568391676035712011-11-15T12:32:38.969-05:002011-11-15T12:32:38.969-05:00While I strongly agree that we need to do more to ...While I strongly agree that we need to do more to protect our boys, I disagree with, what seemed to me, the derisive tone used in reference to groups that protect "girls, pit bulls, and trees" Also, it seems misguided to try compare and contrast abuse of boys and girls to prove which has more severe consequences. The abuse of either is horrific.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com