tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post1795358058206437323..comments2023-05-28T05:16:24.334-04:00Comments on The Father Factor: Getting sacked from “the blind side”Roland Warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03950298999478536463noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479371371212305020.post-33901398558720275482010-05-12T22:18:41.749-04:002010-05-12T22:18:41.749-04:00I concur, Mr. James' choices were remarkably s...I concur, Mr. James' choices were remarkably short sighted and ill-timed, as is the case in every infidelity, but I'm not sure we want to immediately condemn Louis, the adopted son, to automatically join the legion of struggling boys growing up without their fathers. Sandra Bullock's fiance is probably a long way from being a good husband, but it remains to be see if that automatically means an equally bad father.Its safe to say his fatherhood is off to a poor start, but that doesn't mean it can't heal and grow. While James' disrespected his vows, those same vows actually give him the legal toe-hold to continue to be in his child's life via a family court and have that chance at healing. We should be talking about all aspects of marriage, including one of its historical underpinnings, "legalizing" fatherhood. While I think its hard to refute the small mountain of eveidence that healthy marriages greatly benefit everyone, and I whole heartedly support marriage (having been in an unsuccessful one and now a successful one), what we in the fatherhood field are sorely lacking is a comprehensive and cogent discussion about marriage as an institution including its historical premises, some of which have limitations like simply presuming that superficial biological paternal uncertainty has to be legally justified as it is inherantly somehow dishonest(the source of the old phrase "make an honest woman (or man) out of her (him)", instead of simply being scientifically determined, particularly in light of the era of over-the-counter paternity tests. With biological paternity relatively easily determined we need conversation about the community act, not just the personal act, that marriage represents. That should be the start of conversations around the celebrity infidelities of the day.Patrick Morleynoreply@blogger.com